I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
vagina is talking i cant
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
so much tequila, so little girl.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
