Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
