There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
