Pants 0. Shit 1.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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