Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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