put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
that is very illegal...i love you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
