this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
