I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
