I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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