If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
