Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
