Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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