I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
