so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
