i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize