i wish peter jackson would direct porn
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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