how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
