yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
