is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
