I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
