You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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