I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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