Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
