We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
