Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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