M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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