There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
