worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
