I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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