i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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