I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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