Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
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