I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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