my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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