You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
