the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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