dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
