you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we're making bets on your personal life
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
