i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
