The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
