either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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