I bet he comes in French.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
