Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize