He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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