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I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
