Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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