I didn't shave. On purpose
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
