i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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