Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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