I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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