so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
time to smoke my breakfast
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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