Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
