hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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