Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
handjob tips. give me some.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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