Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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