Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
