Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
