We're like a lot better than the average bears
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Pooping to opera.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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