actually, I'm a sock model
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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