I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize