hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
