That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
