O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
