another moral hangover. fuck.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
