Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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