What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
