I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize