i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize